Answer me, 1997 – Thoughts After Last Episode
September 21, 2012 § 10 Comments
I just finished watching Reply/Reply to/Answer me, 1997 (I suggest watching it here, if you haven’t found somewhere else to do it). I can honestly say that it is one of my favorite shows all-time, completely without irony. Right now, I’m just so filled with emotions regarding this drama, thinking about youth and those first, hurtful lovestories. As previously mentioned, it is not really that I can see myself in the characters, but I can still relate to them, as if they were people I knew. Well-written, and often well-acted.
So, I hope I have now made my love for this drama clear. Maybe I’ll write more about that later, maybe not – there seem to be a lot of people who think the same, which is awesome. But although I bid farewell to this drama with deep appreciation and admiration and think a lot of things were handled extremely, even surprisingly well, there are still some things that I can’t shake, in a bad way. Here they go (warning for SPOILERS, and possibly for being a party pooper):
Abuse and Violence.
This is one of the first things that started haunting me while watching this drama. I cannot understand how Shi Won’s father can be used as just a comical figure when he shouts or sometimes even physically abuses his child or others around him. When he cut off Shi Won’s hair during one of the early episodes, I was creeped out in a way I’m pretty sure wasn’t intended. I actually often found him genuinely, deeply disturbing. I often read one or more re-caps at the same time as I watch a drama, both because I want to compare different translations and to be sure that I don’t miss out references I’d otherwise don’t get. The same goes for this drama. But none of the re-caps I have read have really discussed his abuse seriously, and I just don’t get it. Is this considered normal in Korea? In the US? Am I the only one who feels like his extreme shouting should come with dark music and shadows instead of goat sounds?
Overall, people kept hitting each other a lot in this drama, as in so many others. When I try imagining a life where people fight physically this much, I just shrink together in a small pile of imagined pain. I always find this strange and disturbing in kdramas. Same goes with shouting to each other, calling each other names, etc… all of it very unfamiliar to me. The few memories I have of fighting scenes like that in my own life are very, very painful. It seems like I can’t get used to seeing it in dramas either.
Alcohol.
Sweden has a pretty strong alcohol culture, where the old ways of getting completely off your face wasted on holidays has been mixed up with a more “European” wine culture. It’s not that I am just generally scared of people getting drunk, and the first fifteen episodes of 1997 I didn’t really think that much about how they drank when they did. But in the last episode, Yoon Jae finds Shi Won in a bar and gets really angry with her for drinking. At first, I was annoyed with him for treating Shi Won like a child and talking about how he doesn’t like seeing his girlfriend drunk in front of other men. But when they stood outside the bar, he started pleading with her to at least not get so drunk she can’t walk, or throws up in public. And when they cut to scenes where she was pregnant, but wanted to drink anyway, I started thinking about how weird it was that this wasn’t treated as a bigger problem either. If I’d been in Yoon Jae’s place, I would probably have organized an intervention.
Sex.
I don’t even know how to get started on this. In some ways, it’s too painful to even write about. I know that the kissing scenes in the last episode are supposed to be romantic, and I guess I have to take into account that social codes regarding gender roles and sexuality differ a lot throughout the world as well as among people in general. And I admit it, sometimes when I have been too shy or embarrassed to do something in an obviously attraction-charged situation, I have just wished for the other person to step forward instead. But if I am showing with my entire body that I don’t want to be kissed and someone kisses me anyway, what I hear inside of my head isn’t beautiful ballads. And to see those kinds of scenes between the obvious OTP in a drama just feels wrong to me.
Could someone please share their thoughts on these things with me? I need help sorting out my head on this.
/Mis
Tagged: Answer me 1997, 응답하라 1997, k-drama, k-drama in sweden, kdrama, korean drama, Mis, Reply 1997, Seo In Guk, Seo In-Gook, social codes, South Korean tv series, The Future is Idol
I am no expert at this but I will share what I think haha so the abuse part I honestly think that this is WAY more acceptable in Korea than in many other countries. Of course cutting your child’s hair is in NO way acceptable where we live and would prolly end up with the child put in a foster family but in Korea at that time I think it was normal, which is horrible and I have a feeling that in some way is still ‘acceptable’ in Korea today, maybe I am walking on a thin line here….
Hitting part, like I have to say that Koreans hit each other a lot. I have so many experiences of my Korean girl friends hitting their male friends. I don’t know Koreans just see it as a cute bicker thing I guess. Ok maybe Shiwon takes hitting Yoonjae one step too far but in all I’ve seen this kind of behaviour a lot when I was in Korea (even started doing it myself, sighs shame on me). It’s a bit warped but I have a feeling some Korean men think it’s kinda cute having a girl beat them up, don’t ask me why…
I have to agree with you on the drinking part even if Koreans drink A LOT and I had no problems with Shiwon being a drinker and having Yoonjae pleading her NOT to drink I thought that was very normal for most Koreans and nothing to think about BUT the drinking while pregnant part was to me INCREDIBLE stupid and I have NO idea why it was a part of the drama or an issue and why it was brushed over so easily. They could have easily just left that part out. But maybe again this is something to do with culture. I mean in Sweden drinking and for example driving is something you do not do while in the States it’s no big deal (I have a feeling it’s the same in Korea Y/N?)
Lastly the sex part, in the drama I never felt it as Shiwon saying no, it was more of a way of being cute towards Yoonjae, maybe it still gives off the wrong signal, but I never felt like Yoonjae crossed any boundaries or forced Shiwon into anything, does it make sense haha.
Not an expert here just thinking about what I have seen^^
But over all this was an AMAZING drama, it is the best I have watched, SO GOOOOOOOOD ^^
Now it looks like I’m ignoring you
(
OK everyone I’m not ignoring Maria! We talked AFK about this yesterday! And then we hit each other like Korean girls hitting their boyfriends. It was awesome.
It was really awesome^^
Hullo! Anna directed me to this great little review. ^^ Thanks for these thoughts! I don’t think enough blogs in the K-drama blogosphere mention these issues, so this is refreshing.
Okay, as a Korean-Canadian, some thoughts on your queries:
1) Koreans are, yes, a pretty violent people. We hit each other A LOT. It’s just part of our culture. Smacking your friends is often considered a form of affection. I myself will often slap my dad on the arm or lose in a wrestling match with my mom. Of course, there are limits to the violence, but I don’t think any of the characters ever crossed those lines. As a Korean, it’s easy for me to spot when those boundaries are crossed, but I guess if you’re not as familiar with the culture, it can be harder to spot. Basically, if you slap someone across the face, that is a HUGE no-no. Also, guys hitting girls is more or less unacceptable.
2) Shi-won’s father is a representation of the typical Korean father living outside of Seoul. (Or, more specifically, from the Southern Jeolla province, which is also where I’m from.) Shouty and passionate and uncomfortable with showing emotions. But deep inside, quite warm and loving. Yelling is a very common thing in a Korean household. We Koreans are, er, a passionate people, to say the least. We’re used to yelling and shouting insults at our loved ones. Believe it or not, this is also a form of affection, and really should not be taken seriously. My family and I consider a get-together wasted if it doesn’t dissolve into some playful yelling at one point or another. For example, my dad will retort that I resemble a steamed bun, and I’ll yell back that at least I’m not a brainless bear like he is. Also, Shi-won’s dad’s punishments are run of the mill Korean parenting, really. Although my dad never cut my hair, partly because he’s not that creative, and partly because if he had, my mom would have kicked his ass.
3) Alcohol is a HUGE part of Korean culture. If you can’t drink, you place your social life and your professional life in huge jeopardy. It’s a way of entertainment and socializing and getting closer with your co-workers and your bosses. Getting wasted is a regular occurrence. Shi-won is just your ordinary Korean woman fond of drinking – and in fact, showing that she’s not shy about demonstrating her drinking abilities is a way for the show to highlight the fact that she’s not a simpering damsel in distress who wishes to look weak in front of others. And she may have hated not being able to drink while pregnant, but at least she didn’t ACTUALLY drink. I imagine that if I ever got pregnant, I would be very annoyed over the no alcohol rule myself, not to mention the no sushi rule. *whimper*
4) I’m also highly sensitive to potentially sexually violent scenes, but no warning bells rang for me while watching this show. Actually, I thought it did a good job of showing the regular push-pull relationship between men and women in Korea. Women there are expected to hold back and be chaste, while men are expected to do the chasing. It’s an annoying social expectation, but there you have it. Yes, the line between just playing the Game and queasy territory is very thin, but I don’t think it was crossed in this instance. Unlike a lot of other dramas I could name…*cough*SecretGarden*cough*
Hope that helps. ^^
Hi, and thanks a lot for your comment! Keep tight, for here’s a wall of text response:
When I wrote this post, I thought about whether or not I should put something more in it about knowing that there are differences in social acceptance of various behaviours throughout the world. I decided not to. I hope that didn’t make me come across as completely clueless – just judging from a little less than 6 weeks in Korea coupled with a shamelessly big consumption of Korean pop culture, I have seen things I don’t really see that much around me in my daily life otherwise. At the same time, I didn’t want to attribute all of the things I spontainiously react on to a culture I have never been a part of, especially as someone who has never lived in other societies than my own (middle class, native and ethnically “Swedish”, etc). I think the hardest part for me is, as you mention, knowing where the line should be drawn – a couple of playful hits on the arm is something I myself can do to someone I know well, while seeing a father pull his daughter’s hair until she screams still makes me very uncomfortable. On the other hand, I think of reactions to these kinds of event as, at least to a certain point, socially constructed. How extremely shocked and scared I would be if my father pulled my hair is of course also dependant on the fact that doing so would be completely out of the written and unwritten rules he would go by.
Same goes for the alcohol. I regularly get drunk, not just tipsy, myself, and would be annoyed at not being able to drink if I were pregnant. But Shi Won actually attempted to drink while pregnant. Thank you, though, for pointing out other parts of her drinking as a way for the show to let us know that she’s not, as you put it, “a simpering damsel in distress”, haha! Though it’s of course not very healthy to get so smashed you throw up every other chance you get, if it’s socially accepted, the problem of course won’t be as big as if it’s not. Still, I would be extremely worried and angry if I had a partner who regularly lied to me about his/her alcohol consumption and just disappeared in the night…
When it comes to intimacy, I have sort of accepted at least a part of the gender roles of passive female, active male as something inescapable in pop culture in general, and especially Korean pop culture. Guys “stealing” kisses, girls playing coy, and so on – although I as an at least theoretically sex-positive feminist wish it weren’t that way, I probably wouldn’t be able to enjoy much pop culture if I couldn’t take that and do the best of it. But sometimes it really saddens me to think that this is what it should be like. And to me there’s still a difference between remaining passive or, as previously mentioned, teasingly playing coy, and really backing away from someone. Also, why couldn’t an unwomanly desire for intimacy be displayed by Shi Won at least once, when she could be so unfeminine in other ways?
(Without going into details, this also has to do with my own negative past experiences of sex I didn’t really want to have but felt like I “should” have, all definitely within the frames of what here is socially accepted in terms of push-pull.)
I think what I wanted to convey the most is my astonishment of how little this is discussed throughout the (international) fandom. The Secret Garden scene you mentioned was discussed, thank heavens, because that was definitely unacceptable imo, but otherwise. I don’t think my own standards are in any way universal, of course, but that’s exactly why I wish for some more discussion. Which I got! So really thanks a lot, it helped ^_^
/Mis
Regarding Shi-won’s lack of being forward in the sex department…I wonder if part of it is because Jung Eun Ji is an idol, and idols even just doing kissing scenes in a drama is a big shock to their fans? So imagine if there were a scene where she actively sought out sex…the fans would be roaring with outrage. Mostly because she must maintain that pure, innocent image that goes hand in hand with being an idol. Perhaps there was something in the contract that prohibited it.
And I agree that it’s a real shame that these things aren’t being discussed more in the international fandom. It frustrates me often. Like when Boys Over Flowers was exploding with popularity, and I was in my lone little corner, going, “Don’t you guys see how problematic this show is from a feminist standpoint??”. Sigh. Oh well. C’est la vie.
Yeah, the idol image part is actually a really good point that I forgot to think about. Overall this drama has sort of overstepped the bonds of what idols are supposed to do, but some things are too much I guess.
I too thought Shi Won’s father was more unpleasant than anything. I absolutely hate shouting, but since I was never very attached to my own hair I can’t say the haircut bothered me much. Even towards the end I couldn’t really forgive him so he remained my least favorite character throughout. But like Ninni, I too will have to confess to having adopted part of this “cute” hitting.
From a Korean perspective I can sort of sympathize with Shi Won’s excessive drinking habits even though I try not to emulate similar drinking patterns myself while home in Sweden. Showing that you can drink a lot even with the consequences that may follow is a surprisingly easy way to gain respect, even as a woman if you’re in the right circles. Not to mention heavy drinking is often an important part of getting to know each other and keeping that friendship. Although I get that Shi Won would complain about not being able to drink while pregnant, actually grabbing the glass and attempting to drink is a totally different think and that I agree would’ve been better left out.
And for the sex part, I couldn’t really see it as problematic the way it was shown here. The first kiss by the water fountain yes, but not in the final episode. I do understand how it can be seen as deeply disturbing (and the way it’s portrayed in most other dramas it usually is), but to me the way we’d gotten to know the characters through this drama made me believe that this was indeed just the usual push-pull thing going on–a game I myself play on a near daily basis nowadays. So many of my ideals have been corrupted over the last couple of years…
Hi Anna! ^^
Some extentions of my thoughts in this post I have already put in the reply to daheefanel’s comment. But thanks especially for lifting other perspectives on the drinking. It actually made me think a little about KTH drinking culture and how the overalls they ( I guess, in theory, “we”) wear were originally made for the student party guests to put on top of their formal suits so they wouldn’t get destroyed when they passed out drunk outdoors, something that definitely wouldn’t be accepted at, say, an uncle’s 50th birthday party. But yes, as you mention – even if binge drinking as a whole can be acceptable within the frames of the social rules of that society, the trying to drink while pregnant was too much.
Also: Hmm! Interesting! Because I myself didn’t really think that much about the first kiss by the fountain – I thought of it as possibly annoying, but seemingly pretty innocent and out in the open = not as scary.
As mentioned in the reply to daheefanel’s comment, although Shi Won being non-confirmative (kan man säga så? menar att hon inte är särskilt bekräftande) seems to be a part of the whole socal dynamics between the two, it wouldn’t have been completely out of character for her to be totally pro-active at least at some point here, too. Girl’s a fangirl, so she certainly doesn’t lack libido…?! Hehe.
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